Spoilers: All of season one, especially 1.13
Warnings: Genderfuck, the Old Religion made them do it
Summary:After Nimueh's death Albion needs a High Priestess, but what it's got is Merlin. Fortunately he'll serve after a few...modifications. Unfortunately for Merlin, being turned into a woman would be enough of a shock even without becoming the High Priestess. As is, it's his duty to sleep with the king or doom all of Albion.
Word Count: ~45.4K
I started this fic months ago with two vague ideas: 1) The Old Religion would need a High Priestess after Nimueh's death and 2) Merlin with boobs would be hysterical. I then put it aside until the Box of Magic challenge gave me the resolve to finish it. 45K words later, as I post my first ever piece of fanfic, I can definitely say that writing, just like the course of true love, is a lot rockier than one would expect.
Gaius put a quill and inkwell next to the stack of parchment and then sat down across from Merlin, an expectant look on his face.
“I still doubt that any other sorcerers are going to be turned into women by the Old Religion to fulfill the kingship ceremony,” Merlin said. He pushed the parchment towards Gaius.
“I told you,” Gaius said, pushing it back, “it's not for people in your exact situation, it's for posterity. And science. Now write.”
Merlin picked up the quill and dipped it in the inkwell. What it is like to be a woman he wrote. He tried to put it in the centre of the page, but the words slanted downwards and were a bit farther right than he had planned. He stared at it a bit, before adding when one isn't normally a woman, but a man, but for some reason (probably sadistic), the Old Religion has decided to give you breasts and take away other, very important, parts. He tapped the quill against the inkwell for a few seconds then wrote, and no one knows that you're a woman except for three other people, none of whom really care all that much.
“You're sure that Uther won't find out about this?” Merlin asked again. “I don't want to have survived all that only to get my head chopped off because of something I wrote.”
“Positive,” Gaius replied. He had begun brewing up another foul smelling potion and was critically examining the flame underneath his glass flask. “The last time Uther read something that wasn't field reports or tax summaries was before you were born.”
“All right, all right,” Merlin grumbled. He dipped the quill in the inkwell again and brushed the end back and forth across his chin. He winced as a few drops of ink splattered on the parchment. Áfeorsian he said, and the drops of ink glowed gold before disappearing.
Merlin was once again confronted with blank space that needed filling. He couldn't really talk about how other people had reacted, because very few people had known, and they had all be more worried about what it meant to the fate of Albion rather what it meant to Merlin personally. For that matter, Merlin, for the most part, had been more concerned about Albion than anything going on in his body. Maybe he would talk about the differences in... No, Merlin decided, inappropriate. Besides, no one now really needed to know what he did the privy, much less people in the future, and anyway, it wasn't that interesting.. Or perhaps... but no, those feelings weren't at all different. His heart felt more than a little funny when Arthur looked at him no matter what body he was in. He supposed that everyone would want to know... But dear gods, Gaius would probably have his mother read this. No, certainly not.
It was pretty much the same, Merlin finally wrote, except gravity was a bit awkward. Make sure to figure out bindings before you try to shrug. He put the quill down and walked towards the door.
“Done already?” Gaius asked.
“Yeah,” Merlin said. “I've got to get Arthur's back-up horse reshod. He wants it ready for the tournament next week. Then we're going to have Charles to give us some tarts from the kitchen before dinner. Bye Gaius!” Merlin ducked out quickly, almost slamming the door behind him.
Gaius read the single sheet of parchment and shook his head. “Boys.”